Understanding Uncles is a blog for perplexed lads and confused girls. We'll answer your questions with as much, yes that's right, understanding and insight as we are able to. We'll also publish you're funny, embarrassing and amusing stories weekly. Understanding Uncles is the home of teenage entertainment. Feel free to email Understanding.Uncles@gmail.com

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Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Rads, Running & Rudeness

Understanding Uncles again, answering your questions. Surely you know the drill by now? Stories, queries etc to understanding.uncles@gmail.com

q) I recently had a fling with a man in Thailand. Three months later he turned up at my doorstep to stay, and now after four months I can’t get rid of him. When I demand he leave he threatens to kill himself. I can’t live with that on my conscience, what should I do? Pam

This may not be the answer you’re looking for, but your only choice is to get tough. Hey, we’ve all had one night stands, but they’re meant to be juts that, for one night. You owe this man nothing. More importantly being a female, there’s always the risk that things could turn violent, you must get yourself out of this dangerous situation.

There are two things you should do, first off contact the police. This is essentially a stranger living in your home refusing to leave. Involving the police means that they will then be responsible for his safety not you and lifts that burden of conscience. Secondly it would be worth attempting to put this man in touch with a social worker or consoler as he appears to have some significant problems.

Being a Thai citizen it is even possible that he has migrated to this country illegally and is using your address to attempt to gain citizenship or work. You don't want to be caught up in any questionable illegal activity. Get out, Get safe.

q) My radiators leaking. My landlord is being an arse and I’m sick of emptying a bucket, what do I do?

90% of the time a leaking radiator is a sign that the radiator needs bleeding, bleeding a radiator can be quite tricky and involves going from radiator to radiator, get your landlord on this. You do have rights, after all. However for a temporary fix you can just turn off the offending radiator.

To do this you remove the white cap on the bottom, this cap will be on the opposite side to the temperature dial (the turny knob). Underneath the cap you will see a small metal square thing. I’m afraid I don’t know technical terms. Now using a pair of pliers turn this knob clockwise to turn off the radiator. Essentially you have closed the valve and stopped water from travelling through the radiator. Some radiators have a different system to this but I’m unfamiliar with those. So ask elsewhere. We’re understanding uncles, not plumbers.

q) I want to run a marathon. I’m not the fittest and my girlfriend just mocks me even though it’s a dream I’ve had for a long time. I want to get fit and I want to run it with my girlfriend having some belief in me. How should I go about this? Gerard

Listen mate, girlfriends mock. Our partners mock us often. The key is to ignore them. If this is your dream, go for it, you should to do it for you. Just believe in yourself, running marathon isn’t even that hard – believe us, we’ve done it. London Marathon participants 1996, running for the British Heart Foundation when we were but nippers.

A marathon training routine can be gruelling but it is immensely satisfying when you cross that finish line, a marathon is one of the few things where it isn’t actually the winning, it’s the taking part and achievement of completing it. Experts believe that if you can run three times a week for twenty minutes you are capable of a complete marathon training regime.

Experts recommend three fourty-five minute runs a week and an hour and a half run on the weekend. Running is a brilliant way to stay healthy and keep trim for the ladies. The month before the marathon the hour and a half run should become a three hour run. To be honest a year would be a very good amount of time to allot yourself for training. There are a number of helpful sites on the internet which will help you train and decide upon an appropriate diet, here are just a couple.

http://www.runnersworld.ltd.uk/marathon.htm
http://www.runnersweb.co.uk/indextrn.htm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/marathon/training.shtml

Remember, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.


That's all for now. Keep those questions coming in! Yours truly,

Angus and Kev

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